Now there is a man that knew how to use words. Somehow, George Carlin has the ability to cut through the bullshit and pick out the soft language. He knows when ads are trying to manipulate him and when the government wants to soften the blow of some words.
Whether people use words to sell products or sell peace of mind, this act of manipulation can be evil. Let's look at some products I have in my very own home.
What exactly is "New York" cheddar? Does it really taste any different than "Missouri" Cheddar? And underneath it, it says "bold GROWN-UP cheese." This truly means nothing. Should I feel sophisticated when I eat this chip? Should I be happy that I'm not mucking around with "kiddie cheese?" It's almost pathetic the way they try to market to people. And the sad part is, you know it's gotta work some of the time.
First off, this is already some sort of weird mutant food. But then, on the back of the box, it says "There's a place where everyone feels at home. . . A place that feels as warm with a crowd as it does with just a friend." . . . . . . . WTF? . . . Nobody has ever put out Flipsides because they want people to warm and welcome at their home. Great company and conversation has never occurred while stuffing our face with this weird unholy abomination of flavors. And yet suckers (like me, although I did have a coupon) buy them up. It's like we're telling Keebler: "please keep marketing to me, for I am easily manipulated"
"New Shapes" - What a bizarre thing to sell to cat owners? Why would we care what they're shaped like?
"Heavenly Taste" - One thing I've noticed about pet food: It all claims to taste amazing, because what human is going to confirm otherwise.
"Tender Moments" - Purina wants us to believe that they found the ability to package affection in a resealable pouch. And that tender moments taste like chicken. Who knew?
I'm not sure it's possible to find a brand that doesn't stretch the truth on its label. Will there ever come along a product that just tells it like it is? When will that time be?
 |
| Beer speaks for itself. |
No comments:
Post a Comment